


Love Impaired

by Scandalmuss



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Eggsy Unwin & Roxy Morton Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Roxy Is a Good Bro, oblivious men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23507038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scandalmuss/pseuds/Scandalmuss
Summary: Roxy is tired of Eggsy not realizing he's in love with Harry Hart.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 150





	Love Impaired

**Author's Note:**

> After seeing the #NakedChallenge on twitter, this fic just happened. Also, I listened to Lizzo's 'Cuz I Love You' on repeat the entire time, it's also where the title comes from!

_ I’m so sorry to do this last minute, Eggsy, but I will have to postpone drinks tonight. I’m afraid the bureaucratic nightmare that is being Arthur has reared its ugly head. H.H _

Postponed. Eggsy couldn’t help but stare forlornly at the text he’d received hours ago.

Assuming he wasn’t on a mission, his Friday night was always spent at his mentor’s house, drinking martini’s, talking about their respective weeks. Ever since Harry had miraculously come back from the dead, Harry had made certain that they spent time together to make up for time lost. They really only ever talked about past missions or how Eggsy’s Mum and Daisy were doing, although sometimes he could get Harry to talk about his younger days at the agency with Merlin but that usually took a fair amount of gin.    
  
Tonight was set to be a regular night, nothing exciting, but Eggsy still felt genuinely sad that it wasn’t happening, it sat heavily in his chest. Harry had been the first person in forever to believe in him and anytime spent with him always made Eggsy feel lighter. Sure he spent time with both Roxy and Merlin and had been on a few club nights with Bors, but time with Harry was just more special. Harry had truly become one of his best friends, so it only made sense he was as upset as he was. 

He sighed again and shifted in Roxy’s passenger’s seat. Eggsy had texted her after moping about his own place and decided that he needed to be out and not being a sadsack at home. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Roxy crack her neck in apparent frustration. “What’s wrong, Rox?”

Roxy gently pressed on the brakes as they pulled up to a red light. “You, Eggs.”

“Me?! How the fuck am I a problem?” He immediately started to feel indignant. “You didn’t have to come out if you didn’t want to, ain’t no gun to your head!” 

“Wha…” She stared at him with a look he was only all too familiar with; she thought he was being an idiot. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry. Bit pent up is all.”

Roxy snorted, starting to drive once more. “Has it occured to you why you’re so upset about Harry cancelling plans?”

“Uh, he’s my mentor, like, came back from the dead, you know, he’s a mate?” He glared at her, but her Idiot Eggsy expression was still in place, even though she kept her eyes on the road.

“Harry came back nearly 8 months ago, Eggsy. It’s not like it’s brand new.”

“I’m sorry for thinking coming back from a gunshot to the head is worth my time.” He scoffed. 

Roxy sighed, “Eggsy, don’t be obtuse. You know that’s not what I meant.”

Eggsy crossed his arms across his chest. “Actually, Rox, I have no idea what you’re getting at here. Mind letting me in on it?” 

“Had it ever actually occured to you that you’re upset about this because you are madly in love with Harry Hart?” 

An incredulous laugh ripped itself from Eggsy’s throat. “Love?!”  _ LOVE?! Him in love with Harry fucking Hart?! _ “You must be joking, Rox!” 

“Oh my god, seriously? Think about it Eggsy. You would drop everything for Harry, you look at him like he hung the bloody moon and lest we forget you told the previous Arthur you’d die for Harry! Not to mention it’s so fucking obvious.”

Eggsy slowly took in her words, letting the glaring truth wash over him. Was he in love with Harry? The heaviness that had sat in his chest had since exploded into butterflies. “Jesus Christ…” It felt like the rug had been ripped out from beneath him. He stared at Roxy, “Am...am I love with Harry?” She simply nodded and suddenly the car was too hot, too stifling, everything was too overwhelming. He mashed the door buttons to get his window fucking open and stuck his head outside. The night air blew across his face, he inhaled as deeply as he could because everything felt like it was too much. He’d never been in love. Didn’t think it was possible for someone like him. And jesus, to love someone like Harry? 

Roxy pulled up to their usual pub and waited patiently for him to come back to himself. 

A few more deep breaths and the last thing Roxy had said to him suddenly hit him like a freight train. He yanked his face back in the car, “Wait, you said obvious! Fuck, does Harry know?!” 

Roxy laughed, “See that’s how I know you two idiots are meant to be. It was obvious to literally everyone else in the agency  _ but _ you and Harry. We actually have a betting pool on it.”

The past ten minutes had been such a roller coaster that Eggsy’s brain nearly missed Roxy’s point. “Are you - and fuck, be gentle with me Rox - are you saying that Harry might feel the same way?”

“Eggsy, you do realize that you are the only person in the  _ entire _ agency that could actually get a text back from Harry? Even Merlin feels like it’s pulling teeth trying to get an answer back from him. And the way you look at him? He absolutely looks at you the same way. It’s gross, really. Absolute fools for each other and neither of you knows it. Utterly ridiculous.” Roxy clicked off her seatbelt and looked expectantly at Eggsy. “Are we actually drinking tonight or do you need to go get emotional on a cliff or something?”

“Fuck off, I’m not Elizabeth Bennett.” Eggsy clicked off his own seatbelt, getting out of the car. 

“I’ll even buy the first round, eh? Since we’ve got to plan and all.”

“Plan?”

Roxy ragdolled her upper body in frustration. “Eggsy,” she sighed. ”Now that you know you’re in love with him and he obviously feels the same way, you  _ will  _ actually need to do something about it.”

“Oh fuck.”

“Exactly.” She rights herself, slipping her arm through his. “Let’s get drunk while thinking of ways to bare your heart to Harry.”

\----------

  
  


It’d been a whole week since his revelation. A whole week of being around Harry and a smug Roxy. The first moment he’d seen Harry after realizing the man was the love of his life, was like a suckerpunch to the face. It had been a simple Good Morning and a smile from Harry but Eggsy had felt like a cloud of glittery, happy bubbles had come and swallowed him up and in that instant, he knew it was true. He’d tried to disprove Roxy all weekend but nothing but being in love with Harry had made any sense. 

It’d been a week and he still had no plan. Roxy had tried to be helpful but nothing seemed right. Deep down, Eggsy was worried that Harry still wouldn’t understand or try to turn him away or god forbid deny him. There had to be no room for confusion. 

It being Friday meant that their standard drinks night was set to happen. Harry had already confirmed with him as they made their tea in the morning. He needed to do it tonight. He couldn’t go any longer without telling Harry how he felt. 

Eggsy sat with Roxy at the lunch table, scrolling mindlessly on Twitter. 

She dipped a piece of sushi into soya sauce and popped the whole thing into her mouth. When she’d finished chewing, she nudged the back of his phone with the other end of her chopsticks. “So...tonight?”

He nodded absentmindedly. His brain was all over the place, much like his twitter feed. 

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do...or say?”

“Nope.” Eggsy shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. His thumb stopped on a tweet with the hashtag #NakedChallenge, he cocked his head and pressed play. What followed were clips of girlfriends, apparently naked, surprising their boyfriends by just walking up to them randomly during the day. He chuckled at a couple of boyfriend’s reactions and was about to show Roxy when Harry sat down next to him with his own lunch.

“Showing each other funny videos again?” Harry asked, placing his napkin on his lap. 

“Uhhh, yeah.” Without thinking, Eggsy turned his phone to show Harry the video. 

Harry raised a brow and smiled just when Eggsy thought he might. “Well I guess that’s one way to get the point across.” He laughed. “Can’t imagine anyone missing the intent there.”

And just like that, Eggsy suddenly had a plan.

\--------

“Eggsy! Right on time.” Harry opened the door further and let him in.

“It’s one of the few things Merlin is glad I didn’t take after you.” He laughed and toed off his sneakers, following Harry into the house. They were just about to the living room before Eggsy stopped. “Mind if I pop into the loo?”

Harry waved him off and made his way to the bar.

A deep breath and he was in the loo with Mr. Pickles. He made eye contact with the stuffed terrier and decided to turn around to get naked. He folded his clothes and left them on top of the laundry basket and looked at himself in the mirror, Harry’s own words echoing in his mind,  _ Can’t imagine anyone missing the intent there. _ Eggsy flexed once or twice, trying to loosen himself up so he didn’t look afraid or nervous. He’d done some trimming here and there, it had obviously been some time since his last shag and he didn’t want to look totally unkempt south of the border. His hand grasped the door knob and sat for all of a second before he twisted it and walked out. He willed his natural cockiness to take over and he walked out to the living room to see Harry with his back to him still.

He leaned against the doorframe, trying to look tempting. But every second that Harry was turned around sent nerves shooting through Eggsy’s body.  _ This was a terrible fucking idea. Oh holy fuck. I’ve fucked this up. Put your clothes back on, you git. _

“Eggsy? I apologize about the gin, my usual purveyor has-,” Harry turned around and his eyes fell on Eggsy’s totally naked body. “- gone….on...holiday?” he finished quietly. 

Eggsy fought against himself to start apologizing but then their drinks were suddenly smashed on the floor and Harry was in front of him. He stared into Harry’s dark eyes and let his hand rest on Harry’s chest. Harry’s heart raced under his palm and it was what convinced Eggsy to close the distance between them. His mouth felt dry but he still spoke, “You ain’t missing the intent are you?” 

Hands grasped onto Eggsy’s hips and Harry broke his stunned silence with a smile. “If I ever miss an invitation like this, feel free to shoot me.” He leaned in and his lips met Eggsy’s.

The kiss was everything Eggsy had daydreamed about for the past week. Harry was a skilled kisser and in a matter of moments, Eggsy felt like he had fully melted due to Harry’s tongue alone. He’d barely had the brain power to realize that Harry’s hands had fully left his hips and were grasping desperately at his arse. He used the hand on Harry’s chest and pushed him back, so they could get some air. 

Harry looked delightfully flushed, his shirt all rumpled from Eggsy’s grabby hands. “Was it too much?” He asked, breathlessly.

Eggsy grinned and shook his head, “No love, I just need to breathe a little. Wasn’t sure how this was going to go to be honest.”

Harry squinted at him, “You thought that showing up in my living room, naked, could possibly have had a negative effect?” Eggsy’s shrug in return made Harry shake his head, “You are an Adonis, Eggsy. If anyone ignored your beauty, they might as well be dead.” His hands returned to Eggsy’s waist. “And now I’m cross with both of us, because we could have been doing this for ages now.”

“Best not waste any more time, yeah?” The hungry look Harry gave him was more than enough incentive to race him upstairs.

\-------

Roxy looked at her cards and then glared at her brother. “I swear to God, Percy, if you’re bluffing, I’m going to key your car.”

The other off-duty agents around the poker table laughed. Merlin, as dealer, shouldn’t speak about the other player’s tells but he couldn’t resist. “Roxy, you know what a smug bastard your brother is and his tell has only gotten more obvious with each gin and tonic.”

“Oi!” Percival shouted indignantly. “That’s not bloody fair!”

“Oh hush,” Bors threw his arm around Percival’s shoulders. “It’s not like we haven’t all cleaned you out because of that same fact. Hell, I’m pretty sure you bought me this watch!”

They all laughed, Percival trying to defend his honour as a few other agents started to tell them what he’s “bought” them too. Roxy grinned. She felt a buzzing in her pocket and pulled out her phone. Eggsy had sent her a picture. Pure joy shot up in her and she shouted to get the table’s attention. “Shut up! The lot of you!” She opened the image and couldn’t help bursting out in laughter at Eggsy with sex hair, obviously in Harry’s bed with the words #NakedChallenge and #ChallengeAccepted pasted on top. Roxy stood up, “Alright, who had April 3rd?!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I know it's been awhile since I've posted ANYTHING, but please know that The Mamma Mia crossover, and my long firtherton fic are slowly being worked on!!


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